Todd Stadler's blog

religion and politics - peace

It's fairly easy to say that God loves us all and gave us his son for the forgiveness of our sins. What's much harder is figuring out how my beliefs translate into political action. Is a military response moral? Or is peace the only proper thing to pray for?

It is for reasons like this I am glad to not be a politician right now.

Because I have a hard time reading the Bible in such a way as to justify war or anything that looks like it. Don't hate or kill. When struck, turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Doesn't exactly sound hawkish.

But of course, these commands appear to be given at a personal level. How are they to be applied at a national level? Should countries also turn the other cheek?

It seems to me that they should. And yet, I'm more than aware that this attitude is, in a word, foolish. After all, countries that don't defend themselves get taken over or destroyed. But it's just not clear to me that God is particularly interested in preserving countries. I'd say it's fairly clear his mission is saving people from their sins.

And I'm well aware that, from a human perspective, someone had to die in a war for me to live in a country where I am free to participate in my religion of choice. But this does not justify war, any more than forgiveness for a sin justifies sinning further. The peace and freedom I currently enjoy were not won at the death of many men, but only one man, Jesus, and that was a gift from God. Everything is a gift from God.

As such, if you want peace, don't wage war, but rather pray that God would grant us peace.

religion and politics - mr. falwell

I haven't often brought up my religious beliefs on this web site because I'm usually flippant or sarcastic, and such attitudes don't really lend themselves to a serious discussion of a spiritual nature.

But in these last few days, I have heard words like "God" and "prayers" more than ever before, as people's thoughts turn heavenward.

Well, some of them. Others, like Jerry Falwell, turn their thoughts ever towards fire and brimstone. Which might be fine if he got it right.

By now, Falwell's remarks that the increasing secularization of America led to the terrorist attacks are well publicized*. But does this guy even read the Bible?

In the gospel of Luke, Jesus responds to the tragedies of his day by saying that tragedies don't happen because of people's sinfulness. But indeed, since we will all one day die, be it from a bombing or natural causes, we should seek forgiveness of our sins.

But such a simple, beautiful message of forgiveness given freely is often buried under the rhetoric of modern American Christianity, in which America has somehow become the chosen land and Americans God's special people. Frankly, this ideology has more in common with white supremacy than Christianity.

It's not like God likes America and not Afghanistan. Because I seem to remember something about God loving the world so much that he sent his son. And last time I looked, Afghanistan was also part of this world, and will continue to be until such time as we decide to blast it out of existence.

And yet, all the many bumper stickers that ask that God bless America seem to imply that he had better not bless those awful people in Afghanistan. Or he can bless them after they've been bombed.

Of course, in merely suggesting that we should pray for the Afghanis, I make myself a target of the rabid jingoes. And that bothers me. Because I also love my country. But I don't think God is so selective in his love.

this may sound stupid later on

I have to say that, for now, I am surprised at how well Bush has handled the reaction to the terrorist attacks.

With seemingly the majority of Americans clamoring for revenge, including the media, he has thus far shown great restraint and patience. Not to say that two weeks is a terribly long time, but compared to Clinton's rash response to the U.S. embassy bombings in 1998, Bush's actions thus far show amazing maturity.

And, of course, there is no question that we are preparing for some sort of military response. But the fact that we are attempting to clamp down, politically and economically, on terrorist lines of support, impresses me. Because it makes sense. Because it has a chance of working.

I mean, with Bush, I half expected some sort of space-based laser system that identifies terrorists and zaps them from on high. Instead, we get diplomacy. Who'd-a thunk it?

I pray that our response continues to be this reasonable, respecting other countries and international law. And if we must use force, I hope we send in the bulletheads first.

i fought the qwest, and it was a tie

I'd like to say that my lack of words in the past two weeks was due to my taking a step back and ruminating thoughtfully on the present situation in America.

It wasn't. Here is the singular thought I was focused on instead: Qwest bites.

All I did was move to a new house. I asked them to simply make sure that my DSL service followed me there. It's amazing how so few words could embody a task that would apparently tax even mighty Hercules.

First off, Qwest could learn about this thing called "transparency". As in, I don't want to know what your company does to make it work, just do it. So if you have to disconnect my old line and reconnect a completely new line, that's fine, but don't tell me that you've "cancelled" my service and given me a new one.

Or, more to the point, don't tell my ISP that you've cancelled my service. Because then they'll e-mail me asking why I am cancelling my service. And then I'll get upset, because I didn't think I was.

But the real problem I had was being unfortunate enough to move to a house with a different kind of wiring than the old one. Apparently, that matters.

And the reason that matters is that the type of wiring is hard-wired into my DSL modem. Which means that my perfectly functional modem is now a perfectly functional paperweight. It might have been tolerable to wait for a new modem had Qwest deemed it possible to simply exchange it with my old modem for free. Ha. Ha.

No, clearly it was my own dang fault for moving to a house with different wiring, so I was to pay for the new modem. "Fortunately", the new modem was available at a discount price, so I could pay less for my own fleecing. Super.

I complained to one of several faceless operators that I didn't have to buy a new phone every time I moved to a different house, so I shouldn't have to buy a new modem now, and besides, nobody had bothered to tell me I would have to buy a new modem until I had moved and found my DSL service unusable.

Several faceless operators all pointed out that it wouldn't do to discuss company policy with them, so I might as well suck it up and buy the discounted modem.

Memo to corporate leaders: do not instruct your minions to tell your patrons, who have just spent thirty minutes listening to the best of lite jazz, that it won't do to discuss corporate policy. Because your patrons will then switch to your competitors, and if they ever meet you or your minions, they will kick them in the shins.

Unfortunately, Qwest has no competitors in the DSL market because this isn't really capitalism, no matter what your economics teacher told you. Nonetheless, I told a Qwest executive who I managed to get on the phone that if I had a choice, I would pick any company besides Qwest.

She offered me a large chunk of credit. And I didn't even have to kick her.

A victory for the common man! And all it took was several hours of phone calls! I won't even mention the troubles I had actually getting the modem to work.

wise men say only fools rush in

More military jets flying overhead, and with them more thoughts.

I am becoming increasingly concerned about the direction the response to the terrorism is taking, and I'm not just talking about the idiots threatening and attacking mosques and people of Middle Eastern descent.

Americans, and moreover, their leaders, are justifiably demanding that we wage nothing short of war on those who committed this crime.

Comparisons are being drawn to Pearl Harbor, and indeed, more people died in this event than in that previous day of infamy. People point out that as we went to war with Japan that same day, so should we go to war with the terrorists and those harboring them. And as we eventually crushed Japan, so should we crush the terrorists.

But this is not Pearl Harbor. This is not the attack of one nation against the military of another. This is, apparently, a most cowardly act of a loose band of extremists, hiding somewhere in this world.

But I am perhaps more concerned that few in the media or our government seem to be considering why these attacks occurred. Although they may be the acts of madmen, it is very difficult to believe that they did not occur for some reason.

Now, I am in no way advocating blaming the victim, as it were. For the victims of this attack - thousands of New Yorkers, Pentagon workers, and airline passengers - were most certainly innocent. And I grieve and pray for their family and friends.

But is America, in fact, innocent? If you've been reading anything other than American mainstream media for the past forty years, you'd be hard-pressed to say that it was. Our official government policies - both economic and military - have killed many times more than were lost in these terrorist attacks. And most Americans are wholly ignorant of why.

They assume that we were attacked for no reason at all, other than that we are a beacon of freedom in this world. And indeed, we are. But our leaders haven't always risen to that ideal, and we have done much that is wrong.

Of course, saying so runs the risk of appearing un-American at this time when our country needs support. That makes me sad. For indeed, I grieve for my fellow Americans at this time. And I want to make sure that nothing like this ever happens again because I love my country.

And I cannot help but wonder if our time and money would be better spent truly securing our nation's airports. How many times have I taken a knife on board an airplane? Or how many times have I seen horribly lax security, such as when my friend accidentally got on board the wrong plane? This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, and it will take serious amounts of time and money.

But our nation clamors for military response. This response will undoubtedly cost more money than I can imagine. Some of the missiles we will likely fire could each pay for a new scanning machine that detects ceramic knife blades, but their million dollar price tag will be gone in a matter of minutes. And my only question is - will it make us any safer?

With the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, we were able to so completely stun a nation with our terrifying atomic power that they felt they had to surrender. An entire nation's way of life was changed, and now Japan is an ally of ours. But how do you do the same thing to an entity that apparently has no borders and no military?

I think we should look to a more parallel situation than the one that brought us into World War II.

In the months that led up to this attack on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, I read numerous stories of the attacks and counterattacks taking place in Israel and Palestine. Typically, a small group of Palestinians would in some way bring harm to a group of Israelis. Then the Israeli military would respond by assassinating key Palestinian people, or by bombing locations identified by them as terrorist-harboring. The Palestinians, outraged by such assassinations or attacks that would inevitably include innocent people, would vow revenge and kill more Israelis. And the Israelis would respond in kind.

To my mind, this is a horrible, stupid cycle that will not be broken as long as both sides vow revenge. For as long as each side responds by killing, then the other side will have a valid reason for grieving and responding in anger.

How is our situation any different?

Most of the countries we currently suspect of being involved, albeit indirectly, are poor, to say the least. They lack the ability to respond in any serious manner to a full attack by the U.S. military. Such attacks will undoubtedly devestate their land, their people, and their economy even further. Is there any doubt that that will lead to further terrorist acts? How else do you respond when your people are dying and nobody cares?

And is there any doubt that some of those terrorist acts will succeed? Certainly they will if we do not directly address the serious security problems in this nation from technological and information-gathering points of view. Incidentally, I hope this horrible act makes our nation's leadership rethink our plan to build a missile defense system. Clearly, missiles are the least of our problems, as they at least make obvious who fired them. But I fear that even if we do all we can to stop terrorists, there is no way to truly insulate ourselves from people who are so enraged that they will kill themselves.

And then, of course, there is the fear that in making our nation more secure, we will lose the qualities that make our nation great. There are people in power saying that we have too many personal liberties right now, which is contrary to a secure nation. But we cannot react to this terrorist act with fear and let those in power restrict our freedoms, as that has been done before elsewhere, and to disastrous results.

So what is to be done? I guess I'm still not sure. Certainly, to heed the demands of the people who did this horrible act, whoever they are, would be to give in to their vision of the world and the way it should be. And that is unthinkable. But to ignore outright what these terrorists are saying is every bit as wrong.

America cannot pretend at once to be an isolationist country and the policeman of the world. We cannot keep military bases all over the globe and tell other countries that we must look after only ourselves.

I urge us to strongly consider reviewing our government policies. I urge Americans to ask their government what it is doing and why. Because even if we do wipe out the perpetrators of this heinous act, destroying their equipment, their camps, their followers, and those who harbored them - even if we do all that, unless we change our policies towards other countries, we will still give people a reason to hate us. Of course, I do not believe that we can make everyone like us. But to ignore the effect our foreign policy plays in this matter is foolhardy, and there is much that can be done.

Today I grieve still for my country. But I do not want to do it again. So I pray, and pray, that America will truly take stock of this situation before rushing off to a rash act. I pray that our leaders will do the right thing. I pray for America.

the day after

It's been over 24 hours since I rolled out of bed and, instead of hearing the usual 80's music, heard reports of airplanes crashing into the World Trade Center, forcing me to quickly turn on my computer to find out what was going on.

Just a few minutes ago, a couple of military jets flew overhead. I ran outside because I was surprised to hear the sound of airplanes. I don't know whether I feel comforted to see their presence, or scared when I think of what it means.

I guess now is the time when we start to understand what happened - who did it, why, and how it will change our world.

I have so many things I want to write here, but they all seem trite. I guess I'll wait to see what we find out before I make any decisions.

Until then, make sure you donate blood in the coming weeks. And pray for our country.

(void)

I have no clue what to feel right now.

I have felt fear that the terrorism is not over with.

I have felt anger at those who would choose to kill innocent people as a way to send a message.

I have felt sadness for those who were attacked and their families.

I have felt guilty for those times when I forget what has happened and continue about my day.

And I have felt nothing.

a prayer

Dear God,

Please be with us right now.

Be with those who are part of the rescue effort.

Be with those whose family and friends are missing or dead.

Be with the rest of us as we deal with our emotions.

Be with our leaders as they decide how to react.

Help us in this hour.

Amen.

under pressure

But if you think I have it tough (and you should - please send money), think on my friends The Tritium Miracle. They're playing their first show at the Medicine Hat Gallery this Thursday.

As a person who has played his fair share (two) of first shows in ragtag rock bands, I know how difficult this can be. I mean, one of my first shows was in a dank concrete pit opening for what would become one of my favorite bands, while the other was in a nicer concrete pit "opening" for people doing Indigo Girl covers. Frankly, I hope the Miracle's show goes better than either of my firsts.

So everyone who is reading this, make sure to go to the show. All of you. I don't care if you don't live in Oregon. You've read this far, why not go the extra step and make a young band's pie-eyed dreams come true? If not for me, then for the kids!

And if that wasn't enough propagandizing, then why not take a look-see at the flyer I whipped up for the band in about an hour? You might think an hour is a lot of time - I did, foolishly - but you'd be wrong. That's why this flyer isn't exactly the best work I've ever done.

But just so we're all on the same page, yes, most of the text on the flyer is supposed to be marked out - just like on a real declassified government document!. And that there image is from a bubble chamber. Together, you have the combination of nuclear physics and conspiratorial intrigue (not to mention "scientist rock") that is The Tritium Miracle.

If that doesn't do it for you, rest assured that the Medicine Hat Gallery serves beer.

a moving story

Is there anything so vexing as moving? Let me answer for you: no, no there isn't anything more vexing in the known universe.

On one hand, there is adventure. A new house. A new housemate. All conveniently located in a new neighborhood. What possible drawbacks could there be to this seemingly blissful dreamworld of newness?

Well, on the other hand, there is the leaving behind of favorite old haunts. There is memorizing a whole new set of numbers so people can interact with you. And there is attempting to stuff your worldly possessions into too few cardboard boxes labelled "misc." and trucking them over to your new house in your too-small car.

It's this last bit that really sticks in my craw. I have to come face to face with the fact that I am a bit of a pack rat every time I move. And I have to sweat while doing it. Why don't I ever move in the winter?

But in the end I do it. Because every time I move, I am given the opportunity to do things over again. And do them better than I did before. I can set up my room even better. I can decorate the house even nicer. And I can really get around to cleaning the place before it just gets depressing, I promise.

But before that happens, I have lots of boxes yet to move. Dangit.

sleater-kinney and me

They're not just America's best rock band, they're also the justification for the following factoids, fangirl-style:

• This is so cool: the cover of Sleater-Kinney's album The Hot Rock features the band's members hailing a cab in downtown Portland, somewhere on Broadway.
• That would put them roughly eight blocks from Powell's City of Books, where I swear I once saw Corin Tucker.
• Corin also went to the same high school as my friend Emily. While I have yet to see her yearbook picture, I am so sure that she's not as cute as Carrie in this photo.
• Omigosh! Janet Weiss is like the best drummer in the world! I also saw her once at the Cup & Saucer, where I was eating with my parents. I might have said something to her had I not feared looking like a dork for various reasons.
• The inside cover of Sleater-Kinney's latest, All Hands on the Bad One, features the band playing at the apparently defunct Glass Factory, a club that hosted at most ten shows before the code inspector shut it down. Be that as it may, I helped to build that club, and in particular, I helped paint the wall behind the band in that particular photo. I am so serious. I'm also fairly certain that the club's demise was not particularly my fault, even if I had never installed a toilet before.
• That same album also features pictures of the band on the Morrison Bridge, which I have personally crossed several times!
• The song "You're No Rock n' Roll Fun" was written specifically about me.

on the road again

And the travelling doesn't stop there. When it was discovered that the Old 97's would be playing a post-Bumbershoot show in Seattle this past Sunday, plans for a road trip came together.

After all, who could pass up a trip to see some of Dallas' finest cowpunk-cum-britpop in Seattle, a city far cooler than provincial little ol' Portland?

Wait, I didn't mean to sound so sarcastic. Anyhow, it was a good show, as it always is with the Old 97's.

Factoid: they played the second concert I saw in Portland (on my sixth night in town), and they're probably the band my friends and I have seen the most.

Interestingly (eh, to me) enough, the only other band we've seen as much as them is Sleater-Kinney, whose namesake, a road off I-5 somewhere around Olympia, WA, was passed on the way to and from the Old 97's concert.

Now is the part where I get to go long-winded because two members of Sleater-Kinney live in my beloved Portland, which makes me cool through some sort of transitive property.

ye olde shoppe-ing

I went to a wedding in Sturbridge recently. What a funny little town. It's located more or less in the middle of the state they call "Mass". As in "Sturbridgemass". Or the "Masspike". Or massvisit.net, massvacation.com, or massiveattack.co.uk. Whoops, strike that last one.

Apparently, everyone was having such a good time shopping at Basketville that they forgot how to spell "Massachusetts".

But who can blame them? That part of the state is your one-stop location for all ye olde shoppes. You can buy ye olde yuletide crappe at the Christmas Barn. Or if it's ye olde chock-o-lat you seek, you can jaunt over to Hebert's, famous up and down the Masspike as "America's first roadside candy store". They mention that fact several times in their jingle, so it must be true!

But then, not everything in Sturbridge was expensive and antiquey. The gas station near our hotel had a fine selection of sunglasses in the ugly gas station style. And unlike most sunglass retailers, who know that their dumb products appeal to ironic folks like myself (and price their wares accordingly), the fine folks at Citgo sold me these fine shades for only $6.

Of course, as with any fashion purchase, I immediately started doubting myself. Maybe I looked more like a police officer or member of the Village People than an ironic Gen X'er. What if the irony went too far? I might look ... uncool!

Fortunately, all these doubting thoughts were cut short when I spied the fabulous Hostess product selection at this gas station. Not only did they have a full spread of Hostess Zingers (I bought the "new!" raspberry kind), not only did they have pink Sno Balls (bringing my collection to 71% complete), but they had "new!" Devil's Food Twinkies, which I'd never seen before. (According to this site, I should also be on the lookout for Hostess Boston Cream Cakes - ooh, I'm so excited!)

In short, it was a pop-culture-consumer's dream world. Some people go to Sturbridge to relive the past. I go there to revel in the present, with all its technological, or at the very least gastronomical, marvels.

what i did on my summer vacation

I haven't been writing a lot lately, and I'm not entirely sure why.

Maybe it's that I recently found out that the parents of my beloved girlfriend learned of the location of this website. Mind you, it's not exactly hard to find this site, as much as I, uh, tried to hide it and all. It's just that I don't expect anyone, er, adult-like to read it.

I mean, to my knowledge my parents never do. At least, they never call me up and say, "Todd, we read your recently posted liberal claptrap on that thing you call a web site. Please take it down and apologize to your father and I for not being a Republican."

Or maybe I haven't been writing much because nothing's been happening.

Which is a lie. After all, I'm moving to a new house in downtown Portland in two weeks. I just don't have any funny packing stories.

I've also been taking job-finding classes at Intel's Career Resource Center. While I'm sure that much of what I've learned will help me find a new job, it's hard to get past the strange rah-rah psychology that this center embodies. One guy told me that it was "a scientific fact" that thoughts are actual things that can affect the physical world around us. The same guy also would have me believe that "language" is a verb, as in "we'll help you to language that better." Right.

So I compensate for this lack of journal fodder by creating a journal entry by force, writing about how little to write about. And voila, I have something to write about. How about that.