This year's jack-o'-lantern
Written at: 17:23 25 Oct, 2006 permalink
Ah, October!
The only month when I can be found gladly purchasing a member of the gourd family — only to horribly disfigure it with a knife, of course. Serves the pumpkin right for being related to squash.
Now, typical jack-o'-lantern fare includes images that are ostensibly scary, such as grimacing faces, bats, and the like.
Those are all well and good, but I wanted something that, while every bit as cliched and sort-of-scary as those Halloween stalwarts, was at the same time hip and ironic. (Confound this Gen X miasma that pervades my every decision, forcing me to over-think everything!)
It took me all of a few minutes to realize what it was I had to carve, for in those few minutes, I drove by a sign bearing the very embodiment of trite spookiness.
![[Picture of my carved pumpkin with Starbucks logo]](/img/20061025/starbuckolantern.jpg)
Fig. A (left): My 2006 jack-o'-lantern. Fig. B (right): My jack-o'-lantern in creepy, dimly-lit detail.
Behold! The Starbuckolantern®! No urbanite dares look it straight in the eye. The very mention of its name makes hearers feel a cold, sugary shiver run down their spine!
Anyhow, I was really hoping to surround my jack-o'-lantern with the foam headstones of Torrefazione, Coffee People, and Seattle's Best, but I haven't gotten around to that yet.
Full non-ironic disclosure: I'm no Starbucks-hater — my sister-in-law works there, even. That said, I am saddened by the number of smaller chains they've bought up. In particular, Julia and I used to enjoy the Torrefazione on Northwest 23rd. And as someone who, at most, puts some cream in his cup, I can't stand their black coffee. But who goes to Starbucks and orders coffee black?
Anyhow, like, boo and stuff.
Comments on "This year's jack-o'-lantern"
2 comments so far. Show comments.
Written by: Sarah Hazel
Written at: 14:44 28 Oct, 2006