they got nothing but the genes
By Todd Stadler · Monday, June 18, 2001 12:03am
I found a wonderful site about the human genome today. You can go there and look at these very pretty pictures of our genetic makeup and find out which of your personal problems correspond to which chromosome.
Some of my favorites include:
- cutaneous malignant melanoma/dysplastic nevus - this sounds like a track title from a Tourniquet album.
- maple syrup urine disease, type II
- Zellweger syndrome - causes you to make bad movies
- fish-odor syndrome
- rippling muscle disease - many people at the gym have this, I think
- obesity, adrenal insufficiency, and red hair - one out of three ain't bad
- wrinkly skin syndrome
- precocious puberty, male
- micropenis - too little, or too soon, this chromosome is trouble
- Moebius syndrome - you have no insides
- Usher syndrome (Finland) - I was given to believe that genetics didn't recognize international boundaries
- 3q21q26 syndrome - makes you talk like a robot, maybe
- cherubism
- phenylketonuria - the disease made famous by Diet Coke
- hair color, red - but without the obesity this time, apparently
- X-ray repair - but don't tell Senator Kelly, okay?
- Char syndrome - slowly replaces body parts with plastic and silicone, makes voice degenerate into computerized mumbling, and ... oh, Char syndrome. Never mind.
- hand-foot-uterus syndrome - some sort of genetic sexual perversion
- lunatic fringe - this doesn't sound like a disease so much as a fashion malady
- polydactyly - wasn't this a Pokemon or Power Rangers character?
- chloride diarrhea, congenital, Finnish type - is there something about Finland we should know?
- human ether-a-go-go related gene - I do believe they're pulling our leg on this one
- scurvy - avast!
- lead poisoning, susceptibility to - hmm, I imagine we all have this one, then
- amyloidosis, Finnish type - that does it, I'm not going to visit Finland, ever
- enuresis, nocturnal - snicker
- dementia, familial British - you know, this explains a lot
- defender against cell death - well, that sounds cool, doesn't it?
- radical fringe - Libertarians and cool 80's jackets, maybe?
- bleeding disorder - "but what are the symptoms?"
- leprechaunism - um, really?
Oh, aren't genetics just fun?
1 comment so far
1 May 12 '04 9:50pm:
Anonymous replied:
"Well I never send stuff like this...but, in my recently becoming a (reluctant) chemistry nerd, I stumbled upon this while doing some online "research""