Real science, weird genius

By Todd Stadler · Tuesday, January 2, 2001 5:59pm

If and when we get a real space station up there someday - and I don't mean this pansy construction that holds a few people and a toilet that passes for our bold vision of mankind's future in space - I hope the first thing they get done in it is some science. I mean real science, not just creating a more tangy Tang.

What I want to see resolved is the question of who would win in a fair fight between an elephant and a narwhal? Because it wouldn't be good science to try that here on earth. Either the narwhal would flop about on dry ground and be trampled, or the elephant would swim but be unable to defend itself against its more agile aquatic adversary. And any sort of compromise involving shallow pools of water doesn't help answer the question any clearer. No, what we need is the great equalizer that is zero gravity. At least, that's what I'd like to see science tackle in this new century. But then, I've got my cell phone and computer. I guess I'll be happy until then.