you know you're a rush fan when...
By Todd Stadler · Monday, March 18, 2002 11:46pm
I apologize to those remain wholly ignorant of progressive rock and its Canadian practitioners, but this entry will make no sense whatsoever to you. Not that I'm promising anything to the rest of you.
Without further ado, you know you're a rush fan when:
- You think that all Rush lyrics were written specifically about you - even "Rivendell".
- You fly to Toronto several times a year just to get more luggage tags.
- They also call you the working man.
- You quote lyrics as words of wisdom to your friends in e-mails and you can't wait to press the button to send them amazing things.*
- You also have chosen free will.
- You can play the drum, bass, and guitar parts to "YYZ" - on the harmonica!
- You named your dogs By-tor and Cinderella Man.
- You know people who are drummers, just like that guy in Rush.
- You have memory and awareness, but your shape is kind of pudgy.
- You are, in fact, Alex Lifeson.
- For breakfast this morning, you had honeydew and the Milk of Paradise.
- Tonight you're going to party like it's 2112.
- You went to Space Camp in the hopes that it would qualify you to become an astronaut so you could journey to the black hole of Cygnus X-1, but Space Camp turned out to be kind of lame, and you hated the food.
- Your refrigerator is decked out with Rush things.*
- You have caught both the spirit and the spit - of Geddy Lee!
- You have taken to dressing like Neil Peart a la A Farewell to Kings, no matter what the hoi polloi say about your mustache and boots.
- You finally get your hands on the internet and the first thing you enter is "Rush" and you can't wait to see amazing things.*
- You were born in Indiana, not lotus-land.
- You own a Rush album - maybe two.
- You modified your gleaming alloy aircar so that it is now two lanes wide.
- You have a friend who has seen Rush in concert and said they're "awesome".
- You thought Gene Kelly's portrayal of Kubla Khan in Xanadu was really subpar, and that was no pleasure dome - it was a roller rink!
- You are an asocial nerd with long stringy hair, wearing a t-shirt with a computer-related logo on it, and you like rock music.
- You're standing on top of an RV in the reserved RV section at the Daytona 500 cranking up "Red Barchetta" on your headphones and substituting certain words that fit perfectly.*
- You dance on the strings of powers you cannot conceive.
- You have written the word "Rush" on your algebra notebook several times in different styles.
- You once sought the sacred t-shirt A.L.F.
- You wish someone would say "Gentlemen, Fire up the willing engines" at a NASCAR race.*
- You really like Rush.
- You keep all your friends equal by hatchet, axe...and saw!
* Okay, fine, these starred entries weren't written by me, I found them a long time ago on some Rush fanatic web page that contained a "you know you're a Rush fan when" list. It was this list, sadly no longer to be found on the internet as we know it, that compelled me to compose the heap of sarcasm you just read.
There. No more prog-rock entries for a bit, I promise. I just had to get that out of my system.
16 comments so far
1 Mar 19 '02 10:20am:
Christy replied:
"I went to Space Camp in the hopes that it would qualify me to become an astronaut so I could journey to the black hole of Cygnus X-1! Twice, in fact! But I liked the food."
2 Mar 20 '02 12:50am:
tODD replied:
"Ah, but did your adventures at Space Camp have you accidentally launched into space in the simulator because of your quirky pet robot? Just wondering."
3 Mar 20 '02 2:10pm:
Sharyn replied:
"I'm sad to say I own that movie. Sigh."
4 Mar 26 '02 11:30am:
doug replied:
"* On Sunday, instead of going to church, you elude the Eyes to perform your weekly crime.
* You think Simon and Garfunkel ripped off Rush for "The Sound of Silence".
* You find yourself defending the artistic merits of the B-side of the CARESS OF STEEL LP.
* You can list all the Rush albums in chronological order (i.e. RUSH, FLY BY NIGHT, CARESS OF STEEL, 2112, ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE, A FAREWELL TO KINGS, HEMISPHERES, PERMANENT WAVES, MOVING PICTURES, EXIT STAGE LEFT, SIGNALS, GRACE UNDER PRESSURE ... I won't keep boring you).
* You consider the works of Ayn Rand to be an actual, complete operating philosophy under which it's reasonable to live one's life, despite the fact that she really never addresses the issue of raising children, among other things.
* You own both Geddy Lee's solo album and Neil Peart's book.
* You used the graphics class in high school as a chance to create a silkscreen of that naked guy standing against the star, and screened it onto your jean jacket as well as a t-shirt.
This last point, in fact, is autobiographical. Sadly, I don't know where that jean jacket is today."
5 Aug 25 '02 10:14pm:
mark luther replied:
"i customize all my phone numbers, combo locks, passwords, screenames, based on rush songs, albums, and letter/number. I use things like YYZ or 2112 whenever i can choose my own letters of numbers for such things. I also own many rush books, books by Ayn Rand and Alvin Toffler. I have three copies of every album, one for my roon cd player, one for my car, and one saved on my computer's music drive. I use rush album art for desktops, screensavers, etc. im not obsessed just very intrigued by the band's music, visions, and progression in career.
Mark C. Luther "
6 Mar 05 '03 10:28pm:
Rob replied:
"OMG! I'm a Rush fan! I qualified on every tenet!
* you feed people instead of machines...
* you get home at 5, take a sip on an ice cold beer and always wonder why there's nothing going down...
* you trade in your gun for a plow...
* you name both your cars after Rush keywords: By-Tor and Rocinante...
* your kids are named Danforth, Pape and Tai-Shan...
* when you sit your kids down and play "Something for Nothing" to educate them on social responsibility...
* "The Analog Kid" still 'moves you', no matter how many times you play it in one day...
* you feel like committing capital murder when someone says "Rush SUCKS!"...
* you went through hell and high water to find the fabled Rush "Milk moustache" ad and made a fridge magnet out of it...(GUILTY!)
* you own every CD with any semblance of Rush 'fingerprints' on it...
* your non-Rush-fan workfriends who hear your incessant playing of Rush suggest you seek professional help for obsession...
* you start playing the lottery so you can hopefully win big and make your own 55,000-mile 'pilgrimage' by the book...
* your best friend gets you an Aerosmith CD instead of Vapor Trails...
Please forgive any perceived irreverence. RUSH ON!"
7 Mar 11 '03 2:27pm:
alex replied:
"when some yells and it echoes you qoute them with "your testing for an echoe"
"
8 Mar 12 '03 2:39pm:
Rational replied:
"The above claim concerning Ayn Rand is false. She addressed the issues involved with raising children, decribed the childhood of several of the characters in her books, and was an advocate of the Montesory method of educating children. Once again, the false claims about Rand abound. Read her yourself and use your OWN mind instead of listening the bromides of those who know nothing of her philosphy."
9 Apr 03 '03 9:51am:
hank replied:
"you know you're a RUSH fan when you yell at people for prounouncing Neil's last name wrong! (it's prounounced PAIRT dammit!)"
10 May 20 '03 3:09am:
Franco replied:
"When the dragons grow too mighty
To slay with pen or sword
I grow weary of the battle
And the storm I walk toward
When all around is madness
And there's no safe port in view
I long to turn my path homeward
To stop awhile with you
When life becomes so barren
And as cold as winter skies
There's a beacon in the darkness
In a distant pair of eyes
In vain to search for order
In vain to search for truth
But these things can still be given
Your love has shown me proof
nuff said methinks"
11 May 20 '03 8:03am:
Jeff Prince replied:
"A TRUE Rush fanatic will always feel compelled to inform people of Alex Lifeson's REAL name. I'll give you a hint. It sounds very very Polish. And it doesn't end in "ski". That was two hints....must go."
12 Jul 27 '03 1:57pm:
matthew mcfadden replied:
"you look in the mirror and say,"i think im going bald" when you are 16...."
13 Jun 29 '04 2:33pm:
Mike , Rushfreak69 replied:
"I qualify on most of the points. I have one also.
I are 8 album covers into having all them all tattood on my body."
14 Jan 22 '05 9:09pm:
Larry replied:
"When Rush comes on the radio, you turn up your stereo so you can't even here your engine"
15 Jul 29 '06 7:13pm:
sartre replied:
"Your a Rush fan if you get upset about having to correct those darn neo-cons: Rush is a band!"
16 Apr 10 '09 10:24pm:
MadTheDJ replied:
"Even though you have "The Spirit Of Radio" on "Permanent Waves" (CD, LP and cassette), on "Chronicles" (CD), on "Retrospective" (CD), on at least three old mix CDs and on God only knows how many mix tapes in your house, you still sit in your car, in the driveway, engine running, until the song is over, if it happened to be playing on the radio...just so you didn't miss it!"