kibbles 'n' bits

By Todd Stadler · Wednesday, June 5, 2002 2:56am

In these topsy-turvy times of "will we die of terrorists outsmarting a bumbling security agency or of a nuclear war that begins on the other side of the world", who has time to write full paragraphs? Accordingly, I present some ideas that have been floating around my head for a while, in everyone's favorite pressed-for-time format, the bulleted list.

• Pizza Hut sent me a flyer recently announcing "The Insider Pizza". No, it's not your favorite thick crust with extra nicotene added to keep you coming back. But it's no less healthy. Instead, they add a full pound of cheese (making them the largest "user" of cheese in the world), both your regular hypercrustal cheese, and the exciting new intercrustal cheese, for those who thought the stuffed crust pizza didn't go far enough. My question: at what point does it become more convenient to shove a can of Easy Cheese pasteurized process cheese spread into your mouth and suck that puppy dry, rather than have to labor over chewing up a cheese-deficient crust? Of course, the former method doesn't afford one the six amazingly differentiable cheeses to be found in "The Insider Pizza", so hey.
• Overheard in the office: "That guy wouldn't know his butt from a hole in the ground!" "Why, did you ask him that question specifically?"
• A happy birthday today to Girlfriend Julia, who is still younger than one of the Star Wars movies. Can you guess which one?
• Found on CNN: "McDonald's Corp. is thinking about expanding beyond food into retailing as the world's largest restaurant chain looks for ways to bolster sluggish sales in the saturated U.S. fast-food market." Hah. I thought that said "saturated-fat food market" for a second there. I was way off base! Hah!
• In a completely unrelated article on CNN, there is talk of Anna Nicole Smith's new reality show, to feature her, her son, and their attorney. Wow. The photo in the CNN article shows Smith just returned from her audition to play Ursula in the new live action version of The Little Mermaid. Ha, kidding ... sort of. Anyhow, the article refers to Ms. Smith as "the busty model-widow". Gosh, I bet that's just what she wanted to be when she grew up.
• You know what? There's a whole 'nother world out there that I am only dimly aware of.
• In case you hadn't heard, Verisign (in addition to many other awful, immoral practices) sent out letters a while ago, asking people to renew their domain name registrations. The only problem being that said domains were not registered with Verisign, and that renewing with the form attached to the letter authorized Verisign to transfer the domains over to them. Jerks. I got one of these letters for one of my domains, and already wised up to the scam by the speediness of the Web, I popped on over to GoDaddy and transferred the domain name that was registered with Verisign to a company that not only is more customer-friendly, but also cheaper, easier to use, and less likely to sell my name to every business on the planet. Go free enterprise, boo former monopolies.