why wasn't it called vanilla ice?
By Todd Stadler · Tuesday, July 9, 2002 4:31am
I had a Vanilla Coke (warning: annoying music) recently, after hearing all the hub and the bub.
Mind you, I've been drinking vanilla Cokes since back in the day, served by my local quasi-50's-esque hamburger joint.
And I must say that those concoctions were better than the bottled version I had, if only because 1) they were imbued with more love than a robot bottler can give, 2) I was such a naive child - I didn't even know that carbohydrates were or were not bad for me! - that I didn't know any better, and 3) I am now a naive adult who thinks everything was better when I was a kid.
Ah, well. What interesting factoids can be gleaned from this experience?
Well, looking at the ingredients on the Vanilla Coke bottle, I noticed that they weren't much different from those on a regular (aka "Classic") Coke bottle: carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and caffeine.
The only difference was that in Vanilla Coke, "natural flavors" comes before "phosphoric acid". Which means that whatever substance they put in there for realisticky vanilla-like flavorine, it tipped the delicate acid/flavor balance. And none too soon, I say.
But I found myself wondering why soda companies like Coke add caffeine. Oh, sure, it seems obvious that they do it for the buzz that kids like and college students require. But they can't really say that.
After all, if the tobacco companies got sued (and sued) for adding nicotene, ostensibly for "flavor", but more likely for its addictive properties, then what keeps our nation's soda giants from having a big chunk taken out of their posterior, courtesy of our nation's legal giants?
The answer, of course, is "lying". By which I mean using the same crummy defense: tell the people you add it for flavor.
As if the other natural flavors just couldn't match the wonderful bitterness of caffeine. Yes, that zingy bitter flavor you crave every time you gulp down that artificially sweetened soda.
What? You can't taste the bitterness? Neither can most people. Heck, I spent a good chunk of my childhood drinking caffeine-free Coke, and I couldn't taste the difference. But I could feel it.
So now the only remaining question is why, in these times of economic solemness (if not exactly depression), the states haven't banded together and tried to pry a ginormous cash settlement out of the soda companies. I'm waiting.
12 comments so far
1 Jul 10 '02 9:51pm:
aaron replied:
"First, I agree with you on one point. The assertion that Coca-Cola puts caffeine in drinks because it tastes good is probably a load of crap.
But, I think there is a significant difference between the caffeine scenario and the nicotine scenario. The tobacco companies forever denied that nicotine was addictive and that smoking caused health problems, even though they had in-house studies that showed differently. Coke isn't denying that caffeine is addictive, and they don't say anything about its health effects. Big tobacco's sins are far worse than Coke's.
But that doesn't mean they won't get sued over it. Some cities are suing or trying to sue gun manufacturers for the cost of gun violence. This is very strange. If my house gets broken into, can I sue Maglite if the burgler uses one to break the glass? I just don't get it.
Suing junk-food makers is already in the works as well. I'm all for sticking it to companies that mislabel their nutrition info, but if I offer you a 2000 calorie burger, tell you it's 2000 calories, and you buy it and eat it, don't come to me when you put on the pounds...
Not that this issue gets me excited or anything... :)"
2 Jul 12 '02 9:18am:
tODD replied:
"Oh, I'm not saying the soda companies should get sued. Just that, the way things are today, they very likely will, as soon as someone needs the money bad enough (even if it's just some lawyers).
Still, I don't think Coke is as innocent as perhaps your example of the fat-laden burger.
They are intentionally adding a chemical for its addictive properties (or so I assert) and then telling you they added it for another reason.
That just seems less forthright than slapping another piece (or four) of tasty bacon on the burger.
I also highly doubt that any soda company would say on the record that caffeine is addictive. They might not tell you that Coke is good for you (as they once did), but they'll never portray it in a negative light."
3 Jul 12 '02 6:18pm:
Sharyn replied:
"But, I think the two big differences are that caffiene isn't nearly as addictive as nicotene, and that Coca-Cola isn't nearly as dangerous as tobacco. Coca-Cola may be able to disolve a penny over-night and take rust off chrome, but has anyone died of cancers directly resulting from drinking a pack of Cokes every day? For that matter, how many people actually drink a whole pack of Cokes every day? It just doesn't seem like the two issues can be compared, though I'm sure plenty of people would like to try if it means adding to their billfolds."
4 Jul 15 '02 7:06pm:
tODD replied:
"Never mind.
Caffeine is good for you. Now. Maybe.
Coke was doing it for our health all along.
And here I was avoiding caffeine like a chump. Looks like it's time to get back on the jitter train."
5 Jul 16 '02 4:29pm:
Julia replied:
"But did you see the size of the sample of subjects in that study? 108 people.
Did they quote error bars on their numbers?
Of course not.
Do they have any idea why what they've found to be "true" is actually "true"? Of course not, doubly. None of these studies ever do.
Unfortunately, the same scientific naivete that makes people believe in the Atkins diet also makes them eat up articles like this. Arg."
6 Jul 17 '02 9:58am:
Sharyn replied:
"Well, anybody with half a brain would know that just because something's on the internet doesn't automatically make it true, and that they should run out and drink a pot of coffee on a daily basis.
But then again, I hear the Wizard of Oz has been very busy lately and that there just aren't enough brains to go around.
Personally, I like coffee in the morning, and occassionally durring a late night at Denny's, and my favorite soda pop is Coca-Cola (actually, I can taste the difference between caffiene-free and regular), but I'm also a vegitarian who watches her diet and just keeps things in ballance and moderation, which is the only thing most doctors seem to agree on."
7 Jul 18 '02 3:52pm:
Julia replied:
"Oh, but how do we know anything is true? In the Platonic sense, I mean. I think that is what the internet should be about.
PS. I was mildly confused by your tone. Are you saying that I lack some brain because I question they way information is presented on the internet? There is plenty of room for change in the way the media portrays science, and I don't think we should write off trying to change things because people who consume information are too "stupid" or "lazy" to handle it."
8 Jul 18 '02 8:45pm:
Sharyn replied:
"Oh, no no, nothing of the sort! I actually completely agree with you. I just think it's silly of someone, or anyone, to instantly believe something just because CNN says it's true without giving details or facts.
Sorry, I totally did not mean to come off as insulting."
9 May 10 '03 1:35pm:
jjjgjf replied:
"Soda rules. I don't know what they are talking about. "
10 Dec 05 '06 2:12pm:
kyo replied:
"coke may be doing it on purpose but if so why do they make caffein free coke? "
11 Dec 05 '06 2:14pm:
kyo replied:
"soda rules by the way.
woohoo!!!!!!!!suger rush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
12 Oct 21 '07 9:00am:
Anonymous replied:
"caffeine is tasteless btw so yh it is crap that it tastes gd"