watch me now

By Todd Stadler · Friday, September 13, 2002 2:03am

I got a new watch while I was up in Vancouver.

That makes for the second Swatch I've bought in Canada, both of which had alarms on them. In fact, the alarm was why I bought this one, so I'll be sure to wake up at the right time on any train rides across Italy come October (foreshadowing).

Although I have owned many a Swatch since 1985 (making it one of the few brands I am strangely loyal to, especially given the sometimes questionable durability of the plastic bands), this is the first time I have owned a digital watch that I can remember.

Yes, I managed to go through the entire decade of the 80s owning nary a timepiece with a liquid crystal display. Not even a calculator or a Pac-Man watch.

But here's my point: my new Swatch plays this little animation for no good reason when you hold down one of the buttons for a while.

It involves a dog wearing what appears to be a fez. He walks for a bit, then seems to get excited about something, waving his arms. Finally, he urinates on a lamppost, causing it to melt and fall over.

This, to my mind, is why American watches will never be as good as Swiss ones. Forget the precision clockwork mechanisms (what, in a digital watch?), does your watch have a urinating dog on it?