An exciting story, blogged

By Todd Stadler · Saturday, March 12, 2005 10:16am

I was threatened to within an inch of my life this morning.

Admittedly, the angry man that yelled at me had a right to be upset, since I was passing him on the left, and I know I know that's wrong.

Still, we were just walking down the sidewalk.

Whoops, there's a typo in the preceding paragraphs. He didn't actually threaten me. And he wasn't angry. But I was thinking that it would be funny if he had threatened me, or at least shook his fist and yelled nonsensical gibberish in my general direction. And it's the thought that counts.

To be fair, we did share a few (potentially) tense seconds as we were both walking next to each other at similar speeds. For all I know, he was angry at having to share the sidewalk with me, but if so, he apparently bottled up his frustration.

You see, this is the level of conjectural storytelling (i.e. fibbing) I'm reduced to in order to keep my blog "fresh" and "def".

I swear, if I ever have a kid who comes home one day and says, "Kadizzle, Dad, today in class I made a blog," I'm going to sit him down and have a serious talk.

"Son," I'll say, "You know I don't like that new-fangled slang that you kids use these days," for I assume that "kadizzle" will be a new word that kids will start using in five to ten years. It will be a form of greeting that, although colloquial, is used to greet elders and respected people. I'm conjecturing.

Anyhow, I'll say, "Son, schladazzle," using the slang term I presume will exist for elders to refer endearingly to the young, thereby gaining my son's trust, "I think you need to know that blogs are not to be trifled with. With potentially infinite readership comes potentially infinite responsibility."

I'll continue, "I know that blogs seem like fun ? and they can be ? but I don't want to see you neglecting your other work because you have a blog now. For instance, just because you're a mature blog-man now, don't think that you're getting out of your trip to Disneyland."

For, you see, I assume that by that time, Disneyland will have evolved into a soulless, corporate environment that is more tedious than fun.

Anyhow, the real point of this story, other than to concretize my predictions for future neologisms, is that having a blog and being stuck indoors in an SQL class on a beautiful day is a dangerous combination. Gads, it's so nice outside.