Like the Superfriends, but more moralizing

By Todd Stadler · Tuesday, January 30, 2001 8:59pm

I have decided to create a cartoon in the vein of do-gooder Gaia-worshipping Captain Planet and the Planeteers. But mine will be different as it will be called Admiral Eco and the Ecoteers.

And instead of merely fighting evil, polluting corporations as the milquetoast Captain does, Admiral Eco will fight everyone who pollutes or litters, down to the smallest child!

In short, he will be an overbearing environmental zealot. As he swoops down upon an urban area, haphazardly annihilating any car or litterbug he sees, he will turn to his horrified young Ecoteers and explain, "I'm sorry, but it's for the planet."

At the end of each episode, as we see yet another of the world's great cities laid waste by the good Admiral, with dead bodies strewn everywhere, he will proudly say his catchphrase, "sometimes you have to spill a little red, to be green."

Naturally, the show will be sponsored by PETA and the Earth Liberation Front.