Excuses, excuses, part II

By Todd Stadler · Thursday, February 8, 2001 6:01pm

Sigh.

Here are more reasons why there is not a full-fledged website in front of you right now:

Sleep. I started taking short continuing education courses in web-related areas recently. I also started working out recently. Somehow, adding things to my schedule and not removing them means I have less time. This often means less sleep. And your body needs sleep to create a fully functional website, scientists tell us.

Women. Nothing but trouble, to be sure. They make me use up whatever time is left me by my preordained tasks for writing them letters, calling them on the phone, and sometimes abstractly thinking about them. And all for what? A nice feeling? Happiness? Heck, if I'm happy, what in the world am I going to write about?!

Electrons. The recent power shortage has left me with a dearth of our little negatively-charged friends. Every extra electron left in our house, on our street, in our neighborhood, is going south to help the relief effort in California. I only hope it's enough. In the meantime, I've been trying to build an anti-website using positrons, but early attempts are fruitless. As fans of Physics Letters and Superfriends are all-too-aware, it's not enough to simply build a website using antimatter - everything about the site must be the complete opposite of what it was before. So where I had humor before, I would have to have complete sincerity now. Journal entries about being happy would have to express extreme sorrow. And, most annoyingly, I would have to write everything backwards in white text on a black background. It is this final point I resist, as it hinders the usability of the site.

So until these points are resolved, this is what you get. A big fat page of excuses. Ah well - that's all you deserve anyhow!