A holy day for giving thanks

By Todd Stadler · Thursday, November 3, 2005 3:13pm

I just wanted to say that, now that Halloween has past and Christmas is here, I'm really excited about Thanksgiving! [A note to my Canadian readership: please ignore this, as it makes no sense in your calendar. Your ways are not ours. Also, to my Nigerian readership: I am happy in my current financial situation, thanks.]

On a related note, a friend recently sent me an invitation to her house for Thanksgiving. She wrote, "I am doing the planning part of our Thanksgiving feast a little early. That means I need to get a head count for our turkey order."

I was more than a little sad that she was not, in fact, talking about counting members for some recently begun Order of the Turkey. If I were an officer in the Order of the Turkey, why, just think of the power I would wield! Think of it!

That said, eating carbohydrates and fat until I pass out is probably a fine substitute for membership in a secretive cabal.