Billy Grippo: a reponse
By Todd Stadler · Saturday, March 4, 2006 1:47am
Driving home tonight with Beeman and Kirsten, we passed by a billboard that said in very large letters, "Billy Grippo".
Well, you don't just pass your eyes on by when you see a name like that in letters that big, plus we were waiting for the light to change, so we read the rest of the billboard. It contained the following phrases, in order: "Top Eastside Producer", "Multi-Million $ Services". And maybe a phone number or something.
I don't know who Billy Grippo is or what exactly it is that he does, but the three of us came up with this script for a commercial or something. He's free to use it, if he happens to come across this page. Or perhaps one of you Gripponauts could pass it on to him.
Man: Hey, I'd like some services.
Billy Grippo: I offer services.
Man: How much are your services?
Billy Grippo: Multi-million dollars.
Man: [Startled at the price] Oh, wow! But your services ... they're the best?
Billy Grippo: I'm the top producer! ...
Man: Really?
Billy Grippo: Okay, top Eastside producer.
Man: But all the way to the river, right?
Billy Grippo: Yes. I'm the top producer in that zone. Okay, maybe not around Mt. Tabor, but other than that ...
Man: Multi-million dollars?
Billy Grippo: Yes sir.
And that's when the jingle would play. It would be one of those strangely upbeat songs dense with harmony and synth horns, and it's lyrics would be a recapitulation of the billboard text: "Billy Grippo! / Top Eastside producer! / Multi-million dollar services!"
3 comments so far
1 Mar 04 '06 4:40am:
peta replied:
"i just got back from billy grippo's website. i somehow got the feeling i was being taken for a ride.....
i couldnt help it and clicked on the "team grippo" link. apparently, my search returned 10 properties (i'm thinking "?" just now too). i didnt dare try the "search my area" link. his name already suggests some form of pornocracy - the subsequent link names almost verify it.
"sure youre a producer mate. is that a pic of your 'casting couch' under the window on your site?. oh youre not THAT kind of producer. exactly what are you then"?
;p"
2 Dec 27 '06 3:19pm:
cliff replied:
"granted billy's self promomtion is beyond excessive and is fodder for parody if not outright ridicule, but your response is the equivelent of calling him and asking if his refrigerator is running. Thanks for not bothering to stretch. If there was ever a source for material it is right here and this is all you have? Your a hack with no insight beyond the obvious. Thanks, but I don't need help with that."
3 Dec 28 '06 12:43pm:
tODD replied:
"Cliff, you're right. I am a hack. It's obvious. So obvious, in fact, that even I can tell it's true. Accordingly, I'm going to stop blogging so frequently, in order to stop playing such a significant role in the blogosphere. Let's let some of the other people out there have a say. I've had my moment of fame and influence. I really shouldn't have thrown my weight around so much in the blogiverse. I've wasted all your time, I can see that now. I'm so sorry."