Todd Stadler: freelance package copyeditor

By Todd Stadler · Monday, January 15, 2007 6:06pm

Am I the only one that thinks that this carton of half-and-half could use some copyediting?

Fig. A: Sunshine Dairy half-and-half, with enlarged package copy on the upper right

I mean, I applaud Sunshine Dairy's efforts at reducing the amount of bovine growth hormones involved in the dairy-production system, and there's no reason they shouldn't trumpet those efforts on their cartons*. But I'm pretty sure a hyphen would go a long way towards clearing up some possible misconceptions here.

As I read the yellow triangle in my grammar-retentive state, it assures me that only the freshest of bovine growth hormones were used in the dairy products within. And also that I should not have to pay for this carton at the checkout stand.

At least one of which sounds kind of icky. And probably both of which are probably, you know, untrue. Just sayin'.

*And how nice of our federal government to require the dairy to inform me that "According to the FDA, no significant difference has been shown between milk derived from rbST treated and non-rbST treated cows." I don't in any way imagine this is a craven kowtow to the chemically-enhanced wing of the dairy industry. Because I know that the FDA requires warnings like that on all manner of product labelling.

Why, just the other day, I saw small print explaining that "According to the FDA, no significant difference has been detected between the old version of this product and the current one which claims to be 'new and improved'." They're really helpful and informative like that. And that's just one example.

Yes, your federally-funded FDA watchdogs. There's no claim they won't slap an asterisk on! Or, as in this case, there doesn't even have to be a claim! Just information, which is just as potentially dangerous! Like all those cereals that trumpet "Contains 12 essential vitamins and minerals** (**The FDA wants you to know that this cereal is still sugary junk food, folic acid notwithstanding)"