Well, I'll be an Australian's uncle!

By Todd Stadler · Wednesday, October 10, 2007 9:01pm

As of earlier this week, I now answer to "Uncle Todd".

Fig. A: The baby Farley (artist's conception)

My nephew, David John Farley, was born in the wee hours of Monday, October 8th. We got phone calls almost as soon as it happened, our phones vibrating while we were teaching Sunday school — we didn't answer, but we knew what was going on. Why else would anyone call me on an early Sunday morning?

But that's the trouble with transpacific babies. They're born in the future. We had to wait 17 hours before we could celebrate, because he hadn't been born yet. If we'd started celebrating when they called us (aside from interrupting our Sunday school lesson), they'd have gotten mad: "No, he'll be born tomorrow!"

As such, October 7th will henceforth be David Farley's Birthday (observed, U.S.).

I mean, there's no point in my calling my nephew to wish him a happy birthday on the proper day, only to have him say (in a delightfully cute accent), "Oh Unkie T, ya dag, yeev made a blue again! Ma birthie was yestie! Oh well — good on ya for tryin'! Yer still a grouse rellie in my book." Not that I'll understand a lick of it, but that's not my job as uncle.

Fig. B: The baby Farley (much hipper artist's conception)

No, my job as uncle, as far as I understand it, is to come up with nicknames for the kid that aren't necessarily approved of by his parents. Along those lines, I couldn't help but notice that his first two initials give the impression of his being a turntable master.

DJ Farley. It has a ring to it. The ring of bling, that is.

Okay, I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I did like the little drawings I made.

Welcome to the world, little man. Love, your uncle with the weird accent.