Blogging on the county's dime
By Todd Stadler · Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:31pm
I had jury duty today. The following is an attempt at "liveblogging" the experience. Because I am all about the verisimilitude.
7:51am: An example I think I'll avoid: wearing shirts to jury duty printed with expletives. Bet the judge really enjoys seeing "F*** OFF" when he turns to look at the jury. (The shirt, by the way, is yet another fine cultural contribution from Insane Clown Posse.)
8:47am: The judge giving the introduction to jury duty kept using the phrase, "We ask you not to be ____ing". I really don't like that construction. Why not say, "We ask you not to ____"? Clearly, a (present) progressive judge (ha!).
10:32am: Giving out bank account numbers while talking on your mobile phone in the well-populated jury room is probably not the best idea, even if you're sure you know why the payment didn't go through.
10:58am: The man previously talking loudly about bank transactions is now loudly telling someone on the other end of his call that he would have brought a laptop to jury duty, but he worried it would be too loud — a worry he notes was not unjustified. Is this ironic performance art?
11:22am: Still haven't been called for a pool. I've never been called for one in my whole life. Is it my smell? My steely gaze? My "I think justice is a swift punch to the face" t-shirt? (Just kidding.) At this point, I'm most concerned about my laptop's battery life. And, you know, civic duty. But the electrical outlets near me don't work.
1:15pm: Back from lunch, in the jury room, and ready ... for someone to turn off that TV. Seriously, the person choosing channels has the worst taste in daytime television. Or maybe that's the nature of the daytime TV beast. But isn't there some sort of conflict of interest with potential jurors watching car-chase movies and COPS reruns? Perhaps it's at least cruel and unusual punishment?
1:35pm: Told I can go home for the day, free once again from juror obligations (such as they are) for two years. It remains that the only time I've been inside a courtroom was when I successfully mitigated the fine on that parking ticket.
I know other jurors have had to attend actual trials and deal with judges and such, but I honestly can't see why some people complain so about jury duty. For me, it remains pretty much a paid vacation day suggested by the county.
3 comments so far
1 Nov 29 '07 3:47pm:
sarah pants replied:
"i SO wanted to liveblog when i got called in for jury duty. but we were all in one big room the whole time with the judge talking to us. it sounds like you had a "lounge area" with a tv. dude. portland knows how to treat its juries. p.s. i didn't get picked either, which really bummed me out cos i've been watching law & order at the gym and i SO know how a jury should decide things."
2 Nov 29 '07 9:49pm:
tODD replied:
"Sarah, it's true — it's a pretty sweet deal. Particularly nice are the new plush leather office chairs, which, it was pointed out, were paid for by the juror fees people had waived. Suckers — I benefit from your largesse!
Now, if only we could get someone to work on a nice complimentary cheese-and-salmon spread in the back of the juror room, with some local microbrews ..."
3 Dec 16 '07 6:30pm:
Philip Heath replied:
"I have had two of these experiences within the last couple of years. I went in December of 2004, but I was not selected. In Tejas you do not obtain the two year hiatus unless you actually serve on a jury. I can vouch for this fact as I got called right back in March of 2005!
It's funny. You never see a judge unless you get selected. We get to watch a video that should be titled, "Being a Good Juror for Dummies" with 500 other highly engaged citizens. Reserve jury duty - as they like to call it - means that you get to wait until 3:00 in a large room with chairs worse than most and no TV. Hopefully I won't be checking to see if they have wifi anytime soon."