On Muppets and the Internet

By Todd Stadler · Tuesday, April 7, 2009 7:00am

I was going to write an entry about how, every time I see someone wearing something made of polar fleece or similar material, I want to go up to them and ask, in mock seething outrage, "Do you know how many Muppets were killed to keep you warm and casually fashionable?"

But then I couldn't remember if I'd written about that already (perhaps I commented as much on someone else's blog?), so I googled for the phrase "do you know how many Muppets ..." to see if I could find my own comment. Naturally, I found hundreds of people making the same joke already — and none of them me (at least, in the first page of results ... I'm lazy).

That's what the Internet does: It tells you that you're not original, and then it kicks you while you're down and says you're not even original compared to the bunch of pimply-faced nerds and egotistical Narcissi that comprise the Internet's audience (present company excluded, of course).

I suppose that's not a very original observation, even, but you can bet your bottom dollar I won't be googling to find out if others — including me — have already said as much. Oh no. From here on out, I'm just writing down my own (original, thank you very much) thoughts.

And back-dating them to 1996, so that everyone will be, like, "Oh wow, that guy was the first to think of that, though he didn't show up in the Wayback Machine until this week, which is odd, but that site often has issues, I suppose."