The method of modern humor

By Todd Stadler · Sunday, August 30, 2009 8:17pm

We were picking up food at Ya Hala, which is always full, so we had to park a few blocks away.

We ended up across the street from Montavilla United Methodist Church. It was dark out, so the only thing I could really make out from the church was their fluorescently lit sign — you know, the kind with the movable letters that changes from week to week.

The first few lines said the usual something about worship times and what-not, but it was the last line that really caught my eye.

It read: "God's love passed on here."

Fig A: The church sign in question (artist's conception)

Now, there are three ways I could think of reading this, and given that two of them aren't good, I'm going to go out on a limb and recommend they not use that phrasing again (under the assumption that the sign-writer reads my blog and, well, why wouldn't she?).

The meaning they (hopefully) intended was one suggesting that the love of God is shared in that church, between the members and, presumably, to any visitors. Fair enough.

Of course, "passed on" also means "politely refused", as in, "I was so stuffed after all the turkey that I passed on the pumpkin pie." Which would have the sign perhaps suggesting that, while God's love is no doubt quite nice, most of the members there are too full, thanks. Maybe next Sunday.

And then, there is the even-more-euphemistic use of "passed on", meaning "dead" or "died": God's love came to this church, but, well, it is no more, it is no longer with us.

All of which is a general reminder to churches and those who arrange letters on their signs: please do have a cynical person (as well as, it has been said, a 13-year-old boy) read your message ideas before you post them. Just saying.

Of course, who am I to judge what the Methodists believe? Certainly, the "What we believe" page on their Web site wouldn't rule out the latter two readings, I guess.