a message from the gel council

By Todd Stadler · Sunday, April 8, 2001 6:01pm

I went to Office Max today, and it was, as usual, a wonderful experience. Simply sublime. Oh how I love office (and art) supply stores! I bought resume paper (wink) and a plastic mat so my chair won't scratch my softwood floor anymore (why anyone would want a softwood floor is beyond me).

But I also bought new pens, even though I don't need any new ones right now. Of course, that's not the point. It's just nice to have new pens. They make me want to write just to put them to use. Especially the 1mm pens I bought today - so bold, so strong.

These pens seem to be cutting edge, containing "gel ink". I don't know exactly what gel ink is, or why it might be different from regular ink, but it's clear that gel ink is better. Why? Because I think it's safe to say that gel signifies the zenith of technology in a given product.

You have gel toothpaste, which remains the vanguard of technology in dentifrices, no matter what other toothtech might be added along with it. You won't find sparkles with tooth whitening tartar control in a paste, I'll tell you that much.

Or how about gel frosting? It might not taste as good, but it looks more like the frosting George Jetson would eat than regular lard 'n' sugar, hmm?

Or gel shaving cream? Clearly more futuristic than an old can of Barbasol. Let's face it, gel is the phase of the future. And don't tell me it's not a phase. It's just as legitimate as gas, liquid, solid, and plasma are. I am still not personally convinced of the whole Bose-Einstien condensatei hullabaloo.

Gel - it's the stuff of the future. Why, if I could buy food made of nothing but gel, I would. I would sleep in a gel bed, if it meant ushering in the future. I'm that kind of guy.